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Smaller Plate

Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! Then we’ll go with that data file! Daylight and everything. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I am…

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Alice On The Roof

I’m sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in. You don’t know how to do any of those. But existing is basically all I do! No, she’ll probably make me do it. Meh.

Finding Perfect Spot For Surfing

It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years.

Funny Conversation

Waitress:

 Hello, what would you like to drink?

Me:

 milky coffee

Waitress:

 How would you like it?

Me:

 with milk

Status Post

I am having good time with my friends at Starbucks, classic!

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A Story About Nothing

Responsive web design offers us a way forward, finally allowing us to design for the ebb and flow of things.There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words.

Scrap Surf

You don’t know how to do any of those. It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Okay, I like a challenge. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.